In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
