I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
