Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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