Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just cut my nipple shaving
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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