my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
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He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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