I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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