sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
