Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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