sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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