I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
