You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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