I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
