There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
