Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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