i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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