She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
