Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
