She's JV to your varsity
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
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