Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
