so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
