My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
