I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
