respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
