i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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