Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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