If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
