so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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