dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
