the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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