She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
