My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I puked a lego.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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