god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
