OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think i have herpe
just one?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
