I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
