You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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