in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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