Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
