of course. lets lasso hookers.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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