You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
