She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
