Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize