I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
are you so shy because you have an std?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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