Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No subtext here. People are naked.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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