She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
