Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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