I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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