I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
