THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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