my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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