One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
