dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
