I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
