When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Terrible idea I love it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
