We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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