xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No subtext here. People are naked.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
