He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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