My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
