Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
