She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
