Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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