Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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