It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
